Unplanned Life Changes in Omaha, NE

A life lesson commonly learned as one gets older is that life and its events simply cannot be predicted. Everyone faces those points in life where something rolls around the corner that they were not at all expecting. However, this is when certain businesses and professionals come into play to help you out of your stressful life situations that you may have never faced before. One key area of focus as it applies to unplanned life changes are the ones that happen as a result of the aging process. As such, while you may not be able to anticipate everything, you can be prepared for the major things that could likely happen, such as a move to an assisted living facility.

Having the Conversation

Let’s be honest, nobody likes having conversations that are uncomfortable to both parties involved. But as we are faced with life changes, especially unplanned ones, sometimes we are forced to do just that based on the circumstances. Fortunately there are many businesses right here in the Omaha Metro who can help you to better approach the conversations you need to have, specifically ones pertaining to an aging or the declining health of an adult in your life. The ultimate goal is to keep these conversations progressive, productive, and positive, thus, allowing both parties to leave on the same page and okay with the outcome.

Highlighting the importance of families having the conversation about retirement living with their aging family member, Roxann Rogers-Meyer of Immanuel Communities (www.immanuelcommunities.com) explains, “Caring for an aging parent, older spouse or a close friend presents difficult challenges.  When a crisis hits you, you are suddenly faced with the responsibility of determining a solution and a plan. At Immanuel Communities we too often are dealing with an unplanned life change that has dramatically affected the senior and their families. Seniors are looking to us for support and guidance when their health declines and they can no longer live safely at home.  Our current advertising campaign promotes ‘Having the Awkward Conversation’ about retirement living.

Many families never have the conversation and don’t plan for the future.  In many cases, the prospective resident and their family members are disappointed when they visit an Immanuel Community and our staff recommends assisted living because the health crisis dictates that level of care and support. Navigating the choices for senior housing can be overwhelming and it is important to have a plan in place.  These difficult conversations are necessary to avoid a crisis and having the conversation shows respect for your loved one.”

Particularly for those seniors who are able to live independently in their homes, the two most common unexpected events are when a person falls in their home or when a spouse who is taking care of a non-functional spouse develops a debilitating health issue or disease, such as dementia or Parkinson’s, or passes away. When situations like these take place the end result is a physical inability to remain independent in the home. When the physical independence is compromised there are life changing decisions that need made such as “Can I safely stay in my home?”, “Am I going to need help?”, “If so, from whom?”, “Caregivers, family?”, “Must I consider an assisted living facility?” And so on from there.

Julie Laughlin of Home Nursing With Heart (homenursingwithheart.com) offers an insightful suggestion, “The list of topics to cover for unplanned life changes is considerable. My suggestion is to always have conversations about ‘what if’.

In order for this to be productive, she notes that it’s important to have clear objectives. She advises, “One of the main objectives to accomplish in these conversations is ensuring a living will is completed. An often overlooked area is outlining what community resources are available. I think most people would be surprised, and the conversation would go much different, if they knew of the wide ranging types of assistive services that area available in our community.”

One such service offered by Home Nursing With Heart is having occupational therapists perform safety evaluations to identify safety hazards in your loved one’s home. They are also able to suggest products that could possibly make daily living activities easier for seniors. Safety evaluations prevent potential mishaps from occurring; all you have to do is contact Home Nursing With Heart at (402) 614-4622 to schedule the visit. Your loved one very well could live a more productive and satisfying life with the help of assistive devices and technology, so make sure to look into solutions for the problems he/she is experiencing.

“I always encourage open dialogue between the senior and family members or loved ones pertaining to facilities,” adds Lisa Arp of SilverRidge Assisted Living and Memory Support Community (www.silverridge-gretna.com). “This includes what they provide and steps to follow in order to take advantage of the positive attributes and services offered by these facilities. Although the conversation can be difficult, it is necessary and in the best interest of everyone involved.”

She also agrees, “Unplanned life events for the elderly are numerous, but the most common are falls. Someone could break a hip at their home and their life will change dramatically. Whether a surgery fix such as a partial or total replacement is necessary or not, the resident will likely undergo a hospital stay and then a period of time in a rehabilitation center. This could change their life to the extreme of having to move from their home to an assisted living facility or maybe even a skilled facility, depending on how well their rehabilitation goes. Our concern at SilverRidge Assisted Living is that folks do a lot of activities that they should not be doing such as mowing the lawn, shoveling, and climbing on ladders, amongst other things. We are well aware that folks would love to remain in their homes as long as possible; however, there comes a time when a move may be necessary to prevent these unplanned events and improve quality as well as longevity of life.”

Approaching death also requires an often difficult conversation. Given the fact that while death is generally unexpected, how to move forward can be planned in advance, this is an area to have the details in order so it’s all taken care of when the time comes. “Death is inevitable, but is a topic that is often difficult to talk about before it happens,” says Greg Nabity of Nebraska Cremation (www.nebraskacremation.com). “It is important to let your close family members know what you wishes are regarding how you want your death to be handled. This can include advanced directives for your health care, location of important documents, and whether you wish to be cremated or buried and what type of remembrance services you want to be held. Always seek the help of professionals who are experienced and equipped to provide information, guidance and services that will make it easier to navigate the unplanned life change when it arrives. We are uniquely qualified to assist you with making your wishes known. However, we are also able to guide you through the experience of an unexpected death by providing wise counsel, comfort and suggestions that will make the situation much easier to handle.”

Knowing Your Options

In response to being struck with a foreign situation, many people rush to the first option available when looking for help with their aging loved one. Not only is it important to be prepared for these situations so you are not forced to scramble if, or more likely when, the time comes, but it is also pivotal to know that there are a multitude of options and services available that quite often mold themselves to fit the need of the individual.

Often being reached out to by clients with a change in health status or who are in need of caregivers in order to live independently, Care Consultants for the Aging has been helping people in our community for over 25 years. They make it a point to find caregivers who can help seniors with all sorts of tasks and special requests, even if it’s simply companionship. The goal is for all individuals to age with dignity and grace.

Commonly, Care Consultants sees a lot of questions arise specifically in regards to what certain insurance policies will pay for. As a company, they suggest that families investigate what insurance options are available to them before choosing a home care provider. It is very common for families to need more than one company to take care of their in-home care needs because of the insurance they are utilizing.

With age, it’s equally important to be aware of services and options that are available in the community to address a wide variety of issues you may face in the future. Michaela Williams of Care Consultants for the Aging (careconsultants.com) explains, “Knowing you or your loved one’s government, financial, and legal options will help you in making choices as you go through a caregiving journey. Care Consultants produces an ElderCare Resource Handbook that offers a complete listing of senior services in the Omaha and Lincoln metro areas. Being knowledgeable about the many great resources that are available will help immensely when unplanned life changes occur.”

In agreement with Care Consultants for the Aging, Walnut Grove finds that it’s incredibly helpful for seniors and their families to understand the costs associated with their living situation, as it’s one of the key elements that will guide your future decisions. Karla Frese, Senior Living Consultant at Walnut Grove Resort Lifestyle Retirement Community (rlcommunities.com), explains, “Many communities require new residents to pay a non-refundable buy-in fee. Contracts and a la carte pricing are other factors that can significantly increase monthly expenses. Walnut Grove requires none of these. Our residents are never required to pay buy-in fees or sign long-term contracts. A single monthly payment covers their rent, all meals, and a generous list of amenities, including all meals, valet parking, scheduled transportation, weekly housekeeping and home maintenance. These are combined with all of the normal life services like maintenance, yard work, transportation, cooking, and housekeeping, making it easier to enjoy a safe, comfortable, and worry-free lifestyle.”

Being a part of a senior living community with the opportunity to be around others, along with the greater ease of remaining active and engaged, allows seniors to stay connected and positive towards life. Seeing others on a regular basis can also work to alert staff of any changes in a person’s appearance or behavior that raise red flags for other areas of concern. Additionally, regular activity is directly related to maintaining a healthy lifestyle for seniors. It’s become common for senior living communities to offer these opportunities and encourage seniors to take advantage of them because the positive health effects are far-reaching. For example, Walnut Grove offers an abundance of options for activities, some of which include outings to musical or theater performances and outings to clubs that participate in activities like playing cards and games along with discussing books or homemade race cars. In fact, they make it point to give the seniors a full schedule of activities to participate in to make sure that there’s something for everybody to enjoy.

At Walnut Grove, a main focus is placed on helping residents easily and successfully transition to community living. Frese further advises that, “People who plan for the future when they’re healthy and capable of making well thought-out decisions are more likely to enjoy long-term satisfaction with their choices. Many seniors fear becoming a burden to their families; having a long-term plan for their living situation is an ideal way to minimize this concern. Many Walnut Grove residents who’ve successfully made the transition to community living tell us they enjoy their worry-free lifestyle so much they wish they’d made the move sooner.”

Midwest Geriatrics is another resource with an abundance of options available in our community tailored to the varying needs of seniors. Offering services including long-term care, rehabilitation, assisted living, memory care, adult respite services, and a community pharmacy, Midwest Geriatrics also operates multiple living communities. “When it comes to unplanned life changes, we help people to understand the aging process and how it affects them,” says Mark Kresl of Midwest Geriatrics, Inc. (omahaseniorcare.org) “Too many people are blindsided when faced with making a decision on senior care.  They have a parent in the hospital and are told that they must find a care residence for them.  Too often they have just a day or two to find a home for that parent or loved one.  However, this is not a decision that should be rushed.  Therefore, the best advice I can offer is to educate yourself before you are faced with decisions.  Nobody is at their decision-making best when they are under pressure.  Learn today; make a better decision tomorrow.  The life and happiness of a loved one is at stake.

Moreover, actively seek out the best resources available to you.  We at Midwest Geriatrics will come to any group in Omaha and walk you through many of the common issues associated with the aging of a loved one.  We’ll teach you the signs to look for and the options that are available to you, along with answering questions about different levels of care and the costs associated with those levels of care.  We can also answer questions about what things are covered by Medicare and Medicaid.  Finally, we will give you a list of the best resources in the area to help you navigate the subject.  If you have a church group, neighborhood group or business association, just contact me at mkresl@shf.org to set up a presentation.”

Seeking Support As Needed

One of the most important take-aways from the local experts regarding unplanned life changes is that there is plenty of support available; you just have to reach out and ask. Furthermore, although difficult to predict, it is entirely possible to be prepared for unplanned changes, or plan for the unplanned as best as you possibly can.

“A variety of unplanned life changes affect many Hillcrest customers, ranging from immediate unexpected changes like an injury or stroke, to more gradual changes such as memory loss,” advises Jim Janicki of Hillcrest Senior Services (www.hillcresthealth.com). “We help aging adults manage life changes no matter what they are, because we offer more services than any other care provider in the region. When a senior suffers an injury like a broken hip and goes to the hospital, we support their post-acute recovery through both inpatient and outpatient rehabilitation. Depending on the severity and their level of function when discharging from the hospital, we can meet their rehab needs in a variety of settings. We even offer certified home health, which provides nursing care and therapy in their homes if they qualify. Longer term life changes like memory loss are never planned for, but once they become apparent, some sort of planning begins. When family members need assistance caring for their loved one, they turn to Hillcrest for memory support assisted living at our two locations, as well as for private duty home care, which provides companion care in the customer’s home or local care facility.”

He concludes, “As you get older, it’s important to plan for what could come. Discussing your wishes with your family or health care proxy is an important first step. Have an advanced directive prepared so that your loved ones know how to act in case of an emergency. We offer a helpful booklet for completing advanced directives. To get one, a reader can email info@hillcresthealth.com to request one, or call us at (402) 682-6588. Another important step is to begin visiting retirement communities and nursing facilities. Family members appreciate knowing their loved one’s preferences before they reach they point in which they can no longer express them.”

With a mission of being passionately committed to making a difference in people’s lives by providing service of the highest quality in a supportive environment, Elk Ridge Village promotes health, independence, security, and social interaction of all residents. As it pertains to unplanned life changes, at Elk Ridge Village, an average resident could be going through a lot of different things. Many struggle with adjusting to life after retirement, such as filling the void left without the daily responsibility of going to work. Additionally, social norms and responsibilities are altered and/or reduced, which can result in identity confusion or crisis. Seniors are also faced with loss, whether it’s interaction and companionship decreasing due to the loss of a loved one or just loss of social interaction with society.

“Seniors who go through unplanned life changes may be experiencing depression, anxiety, feelings of guilt and isolation,” explains Kristina Krumme of Elk Ridge Village (www.elkridgeseniorliving.com). “Do not be afraid to bring up these changes you may notice with your loved one. It may be difficult, but most times he or she will be relieved that you did. In regards to this topic it is also a good idea to ask them if they have a will, Power of Attorney, financial documents in an organized safe place, funeral plans, passwords documented, etc. Those who are going through unplanned life changes and have made no prior preparations for their senior years may find this time very difficult on them and their families. My advice is to be proactive and plan ahead as much as possible. This way when something unplanned does come up, at least having some of these things in place will reduce unnecessary stress and burdens to family members or loved ones who are trying to locate these documents.”

While many are accepting of life’s changes, others are reluctant to open their minds to the idea of moving into a new chapter in life. Even though it’s a widely-known fact that change is hard, no matter what the change may be, it is critical to assure the aging adult that this is the most productive way to approach the rest of their years and to age with grace and dignity. Krumme further advises, “Seniors are often faced with relocation when they can no longer stay in their house. Upkeep becomes too much to stay on top of, or it isn’t a safe environment for their current needs, and they require help with day-to-day living. On the other hand, some folks are simply tired of living alone and want to be around people, whether it’s during meals or participating in activities. And in some cases, seniors are forced to readjust their lifestyles based on changes that have occurred due to an unexpected health scare or diagnosis that they will have to learn and adapt to over time. It can be tough, so providing support and making decisions now that will benefit them in the future is crucial.”

In-home care options are becoming much more accessible as well, providing additional options for support in addressing life’s unplanned changes, not just for seniors but for anyone who could use this type of service. “Comfort Keepers’ entire business model is centered on adults who have unplanned life changes,” says Jennifer Dil of Comfort Keepers Omaha. “While we all assume we will grow old, nobody plans on getting sick or injured. We have two distinct types of clients who we help through life changes, those with short-term needs such as injury or surgery recovery and those with long-term needs such as aging in place or dementia care.

Hearing the anxiety in the voice of a first-time caller is not uncommon. Most of our calls come from someone bordering on or in the midst of full-blown crisis mode. It is okay to ask a ton of questions; we will guide you through the process. Talk to those who you know who have been in a similar situation to see if they have advice or can recommend anyone to help you. Crying is okay. I hand out little tissue packs because there are many tears in our field. Most tears are from relief when the burden of a situation is lifted off of their shoulders and onto ours. I love the calls from client family members saying they finally slept through the night because they knew we were keeping their family safe and they didn’t have to worry anymore. Priceless!

Furthermore, many times people are so focused on the individual in crisis that they don’t notice the signs of a stressed caregiver.   The expression of relief from a spouse who realizes they can leave the house for a few hours because we are there to keep their loved one safe is very telling of that.  Failure to attend to the needs of the caregiver will only create another crisis in the near future. We encourage respite visits for spouses so they don’t get worn down and become the one in crisis.

Finally, I would say that as Americans, we like to be independent to our own detriment sometimes. Why risk re-injury if you can have short-term help from a professional? Why exhaust the family with round the clock care when you can have insurance-covered assistance? Do your due diligence and research your options, and then ask for help.”

If a family member is acting as a caregiver, support for that person is important too. Emphasizing the importance of self-care so that an individual is better able to care for others, respite care specifically focuses on the health and wellbeing of families impacted by health issues or special needs. Ellen Bennett, a local respite care coordinator with Nebraska Respite Network (dhhs.ne.gov), explains, “Here in the Omaha Metro and all across Nebraska there are great local resources that assist family caregivers in finding respite providers. If you are suddenly thrust into the role of caregiver for a family member, it can be overwhelming and exhausting at first, particularly if you don’t have any help from other family members or loved ones. We can also assist the family caregiver in locating funding sources to help pay for the respite care.”

There is no denying the fact that dealing with unplanned life changes can be difficult. However, many people feel obligated to carry the burden of their loved one’s health issues or problems that arise on their shoulders without seeking help from outside resources. With so many helpful resources found in the Omaha Metro, these types of major life changes will not only be addressed, but they will be properly taken care of through the help of professionals with years of experience. Whether it is a temporary visit or a long-term living situation, you will be filled with relief when you know your loved one is receiving care and support from another person or group of people who have helped others in the past.